Luf and the essence of the world
“It was nowhere and at the same time present.
I used to live here, but out of blue,
I was taken to a parallel world and…”
Let’s get into this mysterious world created by a place in-between what we believe to be and what it meant to be. A inner world didn’t share at any circumstances by this young boy called Luf. Enjoy his journey into his own creations, a voyage among his deepest wishes, doubts, fears and dreams.
A journey to the essence of the things.
Where can you be taken?
Just let him tell you where to.
It had nothing to do with magic beans or to be taken to an enchanted world – but it was something partialy alike to it, although we couldn’t yet agree with. However, all happened here in front my own eyes. There was no message or inner call. Everything started too soon to be noticed. But before it had started, as I presumed, it had happened to my brother also – a long time ago, accordingly to him. But a kind of preparation was set up. In fact, all took place without any warning, not just before I be prepared to the invitation.
I remember I had a chat with my brother, as he wandered:
– Have you ever thought that we could reflect our own energy and this kind of light be taken and reflected in a sort of screen far from here? And then this energy or light be send back to us?
He didn’t finished his idea, as he wanted to leave some bits of curiosity.
And he did!
That night I couldn’t sleep.
I just thought it was impossible to shine as I thought. But the light he was referring to had to do with our temperature – I was looking for a practical example. Anyway our body produces heat, especially when we got flu. That was it. This kind of energy could be taken by a bulkhead and store this energy or otherwise to be reflected down to earth. And if it was possible, where this energy would be sent to? I just started to wonder.
Next day I couldn’t resist to question. As we were having breakfast I just broke the silence by asking him:
– How it would affect us to be hit by our own light?
He promptly answered:
– No harm if the energy was yours, but on the contrary if you get someone else’s energy could be dangerous. – he paused to finish his coffee – Unless, you be taught!
– How come? – I wanted to know.
Mom interrupted our chat, as she rushed me to go to school!
From that moment on, everyone seemed to shine somehow.
I was just a lad. And now I was a lad with a big problem to solve, besides dealing with my hormones, how to get the lights people reflected?
When you are young you find inspirations in everyone or everything. It was easier to be deluded, but at that time what was the hidden truth?
My Brother Gath seemed to be a clever boy. He seemed to have a certain kind of light, but it was not like the one I was looking for. He always had a word of support, a smart way to overcome my most difficult tasks, especially if they were about Math. I have always trusted him. And now, I started thinking he was some kind of lunatic.
I stayed the night before staring at the stars. It was a starry night. I was fascinated by the lights in the sky. Will the stars sort of our own reflected lights? As the uncountable stars stand up there in the sky, shouldn’t they represent us human beings, lost in the searching for a screen to reach? And the these lights I can see now, are they ourselves? And during this process by finding a place to reach, weren’t these energies dissipated somehow? And so, as soon they reached these screens, weren’t they somehow incomplete?
They fade, they vanish, they just fall. Wouldn’t we be really stars?
I was an ordinary boy. Now I became a unbeliever. Things that I’ve so for known are not what they really are? “Luf, Luf, what my name stands for? Is that a sound of something I could represent? And what about my parents, even my brother Gath, what were they?
Lights, energies scattered and recollected somewhere. People were just vague ideas of an instant past?
Then he entered my bedroom handing some books to me. I didn’t want to read anything. I wanted to know more.
– I know what you want to know Ruf! – he just said!
It was stange since I couldn’t even notice him. I even talked to him, and then he suddenly…
– How come? How do you know what I was thinking? – I was intrigued!
– Remember what I said yesterday?
– Yes, I think so!
– Remember that …about someone else’s light stuff? – He wanted to leave the room.
– Hey, hey… Wait. Yes, I remember. What do you mean?
– Well, I was hit by an old fortune teller’s light.
– The first lesson is how to see the light!
There were three books waiting for to be open. Gath didn’t make any recommendation at all. Threw them next to the pillow as I continued looking through the window to some shooting stars. The ideas that those stars could have got a life, and then dying as soon as they fallen into earth. I was very confused.
“A star doesn’t die”, this was the tittle of the book and there was no author indication.
Many questions were made and I still couldn’t see the whole picture. I started to believe that all was a representation of reality, as if everything could be really reflection of old lives and existences.
Were we what some people were? Which light did I reflect? And to whom? And most important, which light would hit me anyway?
I crossed my arms behind my head and I tried not to think at all. I smoothly laid my head down on the pillow, but I felt the discomfort of the three books. I picked them up, throwing them to the floor, but I couldn’t avoid see the tittle again.
“A star doesn’t die.”
I just opened it at random.
Page 12 – what a coincidence I Thought – it described how to get the good energies. I just realized it had to to with those self-help histories. Then I proceeded the reading, getting some extra information that called a little my attention.
“The great reflectors of nature are the surfaces of lakes and things alike, and in these areas we could see the phenomenon and experience the moment of being hit by the light… So go to the lake closer to your neighborhood and just observe the first hours of the night, then wait for the first light from the star. If you really are prepared to this initiation – see previous pages just in case – and wait for the first contact.”
How much bullshit, I thought.
What the hell is this ‘first contact” all about?
However this information got stuck into my mind as I felt asleep impressed to the images of a lake and a starlight!
When I woke up, I noticed something strange. I had left the book open in that page and under the bed – I could reach it just if I stretched my arm down to the floor. But the place was empty. So I went straight to my brother’s bedroom in order to get the books back.
– Hey! Where is that book about the stars? – I rushed into the room.
– Oh! Come on. Take it easy boy! It is not like you think. You should be prepared to read it.
– To read it? You must be joking! What is there that I couldn’t tell?
– In fact, many things have to be explained – he tried to calm me down – Everything there has a different meaning.
– It’s just curiosity! – I replied.
– All had started as an action towards the unknown – he took a very long pause – Curiosity is a remarkable way to start your initiation.
– What dou you mean Gath?
– Just find a lake! – He handed me the book. – you will find someone to teach you.
The sun started to hide beyond the horizon. I had been left with that information I would be taught by someone if I wanted to follow my brother’s advice.
The funny thing was that since I open that book and made my way outside home, I could notice that I was followed by someone. However I couldn’t stop reading the book as I took the bus around some blocks, heading to the Hyde Park in which I undoubtedly and inexorable would find the Serpentine.
Of course, I had to read all the previous pages in order to understand all that stuff. But I wasn’t sure of what I was supposed to learn. In fact I was interested in the reading to get to know any core of that history. The way to Hyde Park didn’t take too long as I continued reading lots of nonsense, til I get to some interesting pages about someone called the Lighter – accordingly to the book someone I was bound to meet, if I continued to believe in that whole process. But in which things should I sort of believing in? Did it have to be with faith? But faith in what or who?
Jumped out the bus around one block ahead the Park, just because this reading of what some sentences took my attention to certain procedures. Obviously faith was not the answer to any of those questions I created – there was no mention to a previous credo or belief. Maybe a little bit of fantasy or in a different way to see the world. It was written something like that:
“Until you don’t see what you were taught, you won’t see and won’t be ready to accept the truth, the world as itself; something quite different from what you once learned the wrong way. Open your eyes to learn what is the essence of things and do not fear what may seem completely new.”
It was then the first hours of the night. I was in front of the Serpentine. Suddenly, as soon as I read those sentences, the book I was holding just faded in front of my eyes. Sort of a dust went away, rushing from my hands. I was afraid. People around seems not to see what happened, or they don’t seem to care.
As I recalled the last words: “It was not necessary to believe in the unknown, at least be fair conscious to understand the truth. No need to close your eyes or wish something at any kind of ritual, just stare and wait.”
After some time, just few minutes later a shooting star seemed to stop its descending to the atmosphere. I could observe it through the sky at the exact moment it stopped and the, all of a sudden, a great light hit my eyes. I couldn’t see anything. When I opened my eyes by pressing my fingers against them, I heard a voice:
– I am the lighter and I will be brief!
The first thing I was able to see was a lonely man and there was something particularly intriguing in him. I pressed my fingers against my eyes in order to clear my vision. Opened a couple of times in fast movements. Then I could see that man. Head hanged down between the legs. Around his head was a yellow halo that seemed to fade, like a flashing light , losing its strength. A strange light surrounded his body in a subtle way, like there was a outline drawn around him. He was tall and slim.
– Is that all right, sir? – I still pressed my fingers to my eyes.
As he tried effortlessly to look at me, trying to hide his face:
– Can’t you see young boy? I am…Of course you know what I am.
– What do you mean?
– By the color of my eyes you might assume that I am a thief of light. But I am not. It was an accident!
– What the hell you mean? I cannot understand!
Suddenly the man disappeared.
– He was a thief – said the Lighter, touching my shoulder, with a robotic voice and continued – We can’t stay at the same place, that’s why he run away from me.
– but why?
– Because I am obliged to. I must take the lights back!
The Lighter wasn’t what we could call a man or human itself. His long hair and pallid face, surrounded by a yellowed light like a circle around his head. It was like a solar light, warm and bright. But it was not capable to harm. His eyes had a color hard to describe, although everything around him seem to be yellowed colored. I couldn’t realize what he was wearing, if they were clothes or big blankets. And it was also hard to say if he was indeed he or she. It was a confusing mixture of all gender aspects. However his/her way of talking, although that robotic voice, seemed to be sweet and comfortable to chat with. It was all curiosity in that being. At the same time, it was not something that bothered me. Strangely, I couldn’t agree with any of those things that were happen within those couple of minutes. The self-called Lighter had punctual messages to say, like he advised me about this or that fact. As soon as I had some questions he was able to answer. But one question remained unanswered: what was that all about?
I could perceive that the man who disappeared (he looked like more to a male gender than the Lighter displayed) was somehow alike to the Lighter, although he was of a bluish almost to greyish skin colored. He was bald quite different from that hairy form and his eyes were perturbing red. Anyway, it seemed that I started to lose my previous references of human features I was used to!
– We are also obliged to advise for the risks of misunderstandings! – said the Lighter anticipating my thoughts.
– You can always anticipate what I think!
– I shouldn’t apologize. It is one of my attributes!
– Powers? Are you a superman?
– It was what likely you could compare in your world. In fact, things are not like you once believe so far, I should say.. You’re bound to see the real colors of the things, and of course, people. – He gathered both hands, opening them as a kind of display in which some images appeared – World once you conceived is just a non reality.
Those first instants – or could it be more – beside the Lighter were in fact, moments of somehow learning for every time he tried to show me different things.
– All will start to make a different sense, and therefore you’ll have to deal with two coexistent worlds.
– How come? Isn’t it real world?
– Now, it is not!
_ Listen carefully. Now you are able to access, with my help, this world, the real world. You used to live a parallel world, as you sometimes describe it.
-Like in scientific fiction movies?
– Not at all. Here we live real world, real lives. Your world is just an imitation of life.
– Am I not real? Or didn’t I use to be?
– Perhaps our first lesson to learn (that you should learn)) is to be convinced that you live another life.
_ Is that hard to do?
– Depends on you?
– Prove me that this is real world as you state?
– Go to the lake and try to look at your reflection! – he showed me the way lifting his long arm.
It was strange, because it didn’t look to the Hyde Park I used to know. The surroundings: there were no gates, bricks, handrails or any known infrastructure. It seemed that the surroundings dated long ago, a past back in that time and place.
Before I could reach the border, I looked back and I saw that image. Maybe he was 192 cm tall. The halo around his head was brighter and the clothes seemed to be more and more transparent and his eyes were of a discomforting bright light that was difficult to gaze at his face.
He raised his arm once again, forcing me to look straight to the lake. And for my surprise something quite unbelievable had just happened. My face was as pallid as the Lighter’s, an outfit of halo could be noticed around my head and my eyes were completely white, as if I had no pupil. I just couldn’t believe that I had transformed into something like him. My arms were as thin as his, longer and kind of transparent.
Although I was familiar to his appearance, I didn’t accept that new outfit or that new real life, or even that new world.
– I can’t believe that I’m changed! – I couldn’t believe my eyes – What is that supposed to mean? – I was nervous and desperate.
– I think I achieved my initial goal!
– How come? – I could notice a bit of satisfaction.
– Now you can partially conceive a different existence compared to the previous.
– I can hardly recognize myself. I can hardly understand my perceptions now.
– Did you notice that few features distinguish us? To tell you the truth, the only difference between us are in our colors. Can you tell? – he raises again his long arm in direction to the lake – that our body structure, the size of our arms and legs, the shape of our heads are the same?
– Oh, my God! It seems that we are the same, except-for-the-colors!
The color defines us. Only a Lighter can recognize every color and its meanings! Remember Viorst? The thief I was hunting? The red eyes and bluish light reveal that he is a thief of the latest degree.
– Yes, I recall! And what about me? What do my colors represent?
– I am not allowed to say what you colors may represent yet. However, as you say, you are a newbie!
Accordingly to the clock radio on the bedside table it was 10th july, exactly two hours ahead last time I was with the Lighter. The same book on the bed and the book marker on page 36..
What had happened? – was an everlasting thought in my head. I was sleeping at my bedroom, same clothes of hours before, the body a into that size and shape I used to have. Anyhow things seemed to stay the same, and the sky was still stairy. Was that a dream?
I woke up by the knocking on my door. Mum was as usual calling me to rush to school, as always I was late!
– Come on Luf! Gath is waiting for you!
I couldn’t wait any longer. Put on my pullover and some trousers then run into the stairs down to the front door. Said goodbye to Mum, who wanted me to have some breakfast. I just could pick up an apple from the basket fruit. As soon as I reached the car, Gath had already started the car.
– Hey, hey. Wait! I am ready!
– Always late Luf. Come on in!
– Doesn’t matter!
– Tell me. Did you have contact with the Big head?
– The Lighter!
– How did you know that?
– I am already an initiate. I can recognize other one!
– So, it was not a dream or a nightmare?
– Surely it was not! – he looked at me firmly – Did you read the book, didn’t you?
– Yes, I read some pages. – and made a pause – So everything was true!
– I don’t know exactly what happened, but you are going to start the process.
– Well, I think it started.
– And so far, I didn’t learn anything!
– It’s a boring phase this initial part. His lessons are important anyway. You are going to…
I interrupted him.
– And why can’t you teach me what you’ve learnt there?
– Easy boy! You have to be taught by him! Then…
– Then what?
– Calm down! – he wanted me to easy my anxiety. – Some people are eligible other not. For any reason you’re chosen.
– How could I shift between the two worlds? Why? How could we live both worlds? Mum was not one of the eligible?
– I don’t have all the answers. I am still a initiate.
– And what about you? When we will meet each other?
– Luf, there are somethings that you’ll have to learn by yourself. – he was driving a li bit slower until stop. – Look! I can’t… I am not allowed to tell about this. And you shouldn’t say anything about this chat we’re having. You should keep in secret and don’t even talk about me to the Lighter.
– But, why not?
– Because this process should be a solitary learning. Then you’re gonna take part of the community, maybe the council…Well I think I said to much! Remember do not mention this conversation.
– I don’t understand. There’s too much information so far. I am confused!
– Soon, we’ll meet there in the real world. Be patient!
– But what do we have to go to this “real world”?
– It’s a king of choice, Luf. Soon you will know why!
– But it all new to me. I am just a kid! How could I react at school, for example?
– As I said, you should keep your mouth shut. It is a secret. If you say something you could be able to not take part of the process. If you say something, here in this world, people would say that you’re nuts, crazy or a liar. There, you couldn’t lose your own light!
– And what will happen if I lose my li-ght? – I tried to keep up that chat with some reasonable argument. – What do I get if I keep this light?
– Too much question for now, Luf. Curiosity will guide to the real world as doubt carries out this life we live. This world is just a representation of the real life. Aren’t you curious about?
– Yes, It was hard for me to believe. But all I can say is that it’s worth the wait. – He stepped out the car. – I was taught how to see the real world and get rid of some illusion we set up here. Things are not like they are Luf.
– It is becoming harder to accept.
– this world is our creation. A way of hiding its actual purposes!
– Please, promise me to keep this conversation in secret. I have told a lot! – He grabbed my hands gathering them together – You will have to show him that you are a Blank state!
– Blank slate?
– Yes, you’re a white sheet. You don’t know anything yet!
How could I live without all the things we’ve built, as we could detach from all we gave meaning, and worst, how could we live without any of the benefits of the modern world? And all the facilities and technologies that we achieved? What advantages would we have if We accepted another life? Being at that remote place, rustic and kind of old, seemed to be boring and very difficult to adapt with. In a first glance, the only advantage given or perceived would be that of the un-known.
I sat on the desk still confused. Didn’t ask what I wanted to know or what I could ask to Gath. Many questions. How could I deal with all that mystery, all that parallel world that was conveyed by that guy? And once it was not a dream, as my own brother reassured the whole stuff. What is coming next?
– Luf, Luf! – I couldn’t answer to it. – Hey, hey! – as he waved his hand in front of my eyes .
– Hi, Levis. Is that all right?
– I ask you! You seemed to be spacing out
– Literally! – I answered trying to make fun of the situation.
– And how was there?
– There, where?
– There where your head was…
– I am just confused!
– I know what you mean!
– How come? – I asked with a specific interest.
– We’re bound to do the test.
– Gosh! Which test?
– Did you know that my name comes from the latin Levis, that means “light”?
– Yes. And it’s neuter gender.
– Really? And what about Light-er?
– Well, I don’t know. You mean the cigarrete lighter?
– No, that other one! – I was convinced that this was a strange conversation.
– Which one? – Levis seemed to be hesitant!
– Don’t you know?
– That One who lights ? – I felt a shiver on my back!
– Well, if you add an -ER to a word, then you have a substantive.
– Uff! I thought… – I breathed relieved.
– What’s wrong Luf? Didn’t you study for the test?
– Is not the case Levis or should I say Light?
– Hahaha, You can call me Lighter, if you wish!
– Do you think you can light someone or something?
– Light is knowledge, Luf. It’s like in those ancient time in which people used to live in the dark ages. Thought was Enlightenment, Remember History lessons?
– I think so!
– People needed guidance once they couldn’t use their own reason, lack of courage…”sapere aude”.
– What the hell is that?
– It’s latin, Luf!
– How do you know all this? Seems to me that you are an expert in that subject that lights!
– No Philosophy!
– Why, I’m just a middle school student! Like you!
– You could be a Lighter, couldn’t you?
– Is that a compliment?
– I don’t know! It’s a great coincidence that your name stands for light!
– What’s the big deal? Could it mean stone, water… anything.
– Don’t know, Levis!
– I think you should miss the test, and apply for a second call test. Go home and rest…
– And wish upon the stars?
– Like that song? – he outlined a slight smile.
– Why are you being sarcastic?
– Hey, you started with this “wish upon a star” stuff.
– Why don’t you reveal yourself?
– Tell me more about those things, about white sheet…
– Are you nuts?
I was bound to mention all that conversation that I had with the Lighter hours, days before…didn’t know anymore. Levis was a weirdo, the cleverest boy, but it didn’t allow me to say he was from another world, or the real one. Whatever! However, I almost ruined what I was not conscious about. The idea of another existence was changing the way I conceived my life. why keep doing these following this blind steps towards this unwelcoming knowledge? What advantage to have got this kind of enlightenment?
What was this guidance for?
I skipped some pages. some parts seemed to be unnecessary or incomprehensible to my reach.
Should I follow the same procedures to get in touch with the Lighter? And take those steps towards the Serpentine once again, changing trains until get to the park, wait for a starry night and wait that body water formation in the lake in order to have access?
What an odd and rustic way of reaching this real world and the possibility of change, although I couldn’t comprehend any sophisticated way to convey such second degree contacts!
I thought that it was something simpler, like to whistle or to snap the things, or even call a name:
– Lighter, Lighter? – I have screamed once or twice effortlessly.
I was getting crazy for sure. how could such things happen like this? I proceeded reading those pages at random. I am gonna give some advice to the Lighter next time we meet. Such instructions should be a little bit easier for a boy like me to get, easier rules to open this portal, like pressing to the heart an amulet – with some ancient inscriptions on it. There are so many different ways of doing that, by solving a charade for instance. No, it wouldn’t be that easy. So no charades nor difficult queries.
Page 102 – Thieves of lights:
” You may have heard about people who absorb your energy by just a gaze upon you or by means of ritual of magic. These are the ways a ordinary human being – unaware of metaphysics – are able to manage. However, the initiates in the real world, once within the community , – if misguidance is provided – could become a thief of light if they learned how to.”
Immediately came the vision of Viorst – if that’s what I recall – that thief of whom the Lighter was chasing. The image of his eyes was also intriguing and it caused me a bad feeling. I could get that strange atmosphere around him and just think of Viorst’s look, circumspect and solitary gave me the impression that was hard to describe. But for the first time, I was slightly attracted by that man, which provided a certain conexion to the real world as it was shown, that sensation that that situation or even that face had been seen before. That conversation, that resemblance of a past moment had stuck into my head.
I felt asleep by the embrace of the words and the situation I couldn’t understand.
– Hi! – I heard a voice as all of a sudden I opened my eyes.
– Is that you? – Viorst was right in front of me.
– You might be scared, but please, we have got just few minutes. Let me explain to you, before the big head appears.
– Should I be scared? _ I tried to stand up firmly.
– I need your help!
– I am of no help. Help? I am as helpless as you – now I tried to show vulnerability as well.
– You can. Only initiates can help me.
– But you are an outlaw. – was that the right term?, I thought.
– No, it’s all a misunderstanding. I was trapped by the Lighter. He deceived me pretending to be my guide, Delighted. She was one of the last women here.
– Delighted? – what a name I thought.
– Yes, she was my guide and lover.
– So, can we fall in love here?
– That’s not the point. Now I need to clean this mess.
– And where is she?
– Nobody knows!
– And what kind of help do you need?
– As I said, he made me believe he was Delighted by using a disguise. – he was nervous . – I was deceived by jealousy and endind up killing her by a mistake. Now I am sentenced to death.
– Did she die?
– I don’t know. Maybe he finished her and took her light. – were his last words.
Then he disappeared like last time.
I was at the somehow alike the Trafalgar square but there wasn’t the central obelisk and few people could been seen although none of them seemed to be able to talk to. Some of them stayed gazing into the fountains but, as I said these people didn’t belong to that place. And the square itself looked like an outline of a real image, so everything was lifeless as the people. I couldn’t look into their eyes and they either tried to look me in any kind of response. There were lots of light patterns – as I inferred, although some lights had the same color. But their eyes were impossible to see.
Suddenly a big shinning net fell from the sky getting hold of someone that was right beside me. And there was a long silver line connecting the net to a even brighter sphere coming down slowly until complete descending to the ground. Then a voice was heard:
– Thief, look at me! Look at me! – as he repeated firmly again.
As soon as the man turned the head in his direction, a fast beam of light came out from his eyes. The man quickly languished until disappear.
– Did you talk to Viorst? the bright light became bearable to look at – I could feel him here.
– Yes! – I said terrified pressed my things against my eyes. – But he’s gone.
– You shouldn’t. I mean, You can’t talk to a thief!
– What happened here?
– He was a thief!
– But he eyes were kind of yellow and not red. – I replied with certainty.
– No, they were not. – He raised his voice.
– I saw them, when he responded to you. – I was sure of that.
– Do not disagree with my arguments. – his eyes became clearer and the heat stronger. – And where is he?
– He’s gone!
People continued to hide their face. The Lighter looked to me once again. The he started to transform to a bright sphere and moved fast straight to the high until complete disappearance.
I could recognize her face. I don’t know how but when we met in the Art Gallery’s stairs, I had this impression of having noticed her face before. Like Viorst, that once caused me that rejection by its ugliness and then turned to empathy. With Delight it gets another level, but all seems a very little odd and hard to cope with.
Gath might had spoken of her of course, by another name obviously. In this new memory that I’ve been given, I can recall this name: Rose. Yes, that was that. Now I could remind all the histories told. But it was something still hidden. Something without complete access.
Memory of the future, new images, sudden reconstructions of the past. What super-powers would be these achievments? Did I advance phases like in pac man’s game? But where was the extra power buster shot of powe and all those escaping features? How an outer world would be so close to a circle of familar stories and characters? A world so-perfect-to-be holds this easy tesis that we criate our monsters. All is pure use of imagination and a little bit chaos. It sounds a bit complicated also to figure out how to solve this hard existencial equation. There is a king of imprectioness in all this. For the values and faults conception seems to inhabit this ideas of evolution and it seems to me that somethings repeat our same eath mistakes. And also it seems to unfold in that fatal flaw. Therefore this nearness holds also a boysh trick of jokes and intrigues.
Is that reality of which we were poisoned by a series of drogs provided throughout our existances, and like a long term treatment, the lack of one of this injections could reveal any mistake in the process o self-cure?
Now I kept this feeling of knowing everything due to an antecipation which is still selectable. But this super-power is limited as all Gods refrain the mortal sense of freedom and contentment. There i always a time to of joy and a time of pain. The duality that persecutes us.
Am I ready to face the Lighter’s temper?
I was almost sure of his identity although I couldn’t agree with myself about name and face, there was only this proximity, this faculty of knowing from where in a time, but still inaccurate. This familiarity, this dreadful power given to a boy who was still aspirng to have an injury by climbing a simple tree. Why me?
The big head was not uncovered yet. Why? If Gath and Delight were close to me.
Took so long to reach the Hyde Park and during the trip, a movie of my granted new life just started to roll in. And as a secondary student, which kinds of memories would be displayed in this young film strip? My head didn’t work as a regular boy’s one. There were many hidden stories to be revealed, but they were well preserved in that unknown file. I didn’t realize who were those people, and few of them I was able to recogine, however they seemed to be part a history (that I created myself or was it made up for me?). Precision was not the deal.
Places, passages, old images, recent events…all these scenes composed this personal movie. However which part of those memories wasn’t mine and even if it wasn’t, where were my free will, my control over my own choices?
Who were those people? What spots were that?
The tube went faster and faster before we reach St. Pancras. It was hard to control the processing of ideas and the intense vibration of the body. Once again That all over embracing light turned unbearable hard to see.
My body was over a field of grass. Still that sensation felt before. Dizziness and a total feeling of misfit. The place, for sure, was the Hyde Park around one of the borders of the Serpentine on the opposite side I had last time of tha experience of whatever it was. However it was the Serpentine. Colorful, bright, vivid. A bluer sky ,whenever you’re around,… a bluer sky, a brighter day. Flowers in blossom of tremendous patterns of colors. All seemed a little bit closer to my once…
– Welcome my dear! Welcome to the Eighth kingdom! I was waiting for you!
It was amazing the reseamblance to Delight as I saw in the seventh Kingdom, but she looked like even more human. Her long hair, white skin and blue light eyes gave her a warm welcoming sensation. But for my surprise, what was bound to happen turned that welcoming experience the worst so far and even more difficult to understand.
– Welcome dear son! You’re finally back!
– Delight! – it was my first and only reaction.
– Are you deligthed, sweet-heart? – as she approched to me giving a big hug!
– No, I mean! Isn’t your name Delight? – I insisted in that memory recorded.
– Sweet-heart, I am Rose. You’re my missed son. It was said you’d come back in a day like this.
– I am little confused. – I reacted as if I had to rearrange all again.
– You’ve been into journeys through space and time. That’s the final stop. And now you supposed to rest my dear.
– But,I don’t understand…
A big sound broke trough the sky as circles of light started to hit the ground – these memories seemed to be recognizable -, turning everything grey and lifeless. A great circle got hold of Delight , capturing her. It happened as the same time when that man disappeared in front of me. The circle became shorter and shorter, and before it was gone, I could see a blue gaze ito my direction that came from the same source. Then I was completely involved to that field of energy. Suddenly Gath appeared form another circle in the sky, screaming my name, saying to me to release my light. But I was not sure of what was all that. I was absorbed by an undescribeable force. I jus faded like a shooting star.
Both circles disappeared!
The train slowed down. St. Pancras right ahead. Those films were gone.
I was now… in a boby of an adult man.
… Jumped out the the subway and didn’t check out where I was. I just want to leave that place and recent iamges or sensations I’ve just take part.
Could I hide myself from now on?
I sat in the bank just around the corner. Tried to calm down all my emotions. Picked up the book I carried in my bag.
“Light can travel many world, many times and this represents that it may assume many lives, of course not like we materialize. It is different, possible. You, as an initiate, must be prepared to pass through the 8 gates. They indicate levels of a meant to be evolution. so, one access is permited each time your light travels. However, the guide’s mentorship fails, for it must me continous and uninterrupted, your light can travel at random. And it may cause unknown consequences.”
Unknown consequences…Should I trust in these lines? Or are they a way to deceive me?
Could Gath be lying to me? Levis was lying? Who really was Rose?
I couldn’t count on any of my memories or what I’ve been told. Nightmares. I had lost any possibility of make believe I was in a dream. Look at me, I am grown up man, in my own reality. Was I inside a unfolded dream? But now many realities are taking place in a mixt of time and space. No frontier is noticed. When will this Lighter cause any harm to this world? Was that possible? It is hard to understand any possible answer. All of them held a mystery.
I was at St. Pancras station trying to hide – unfortunately from myself. My own body and mind were completely involved in this whole stuff. The image in the reflex, what i means to me? That face didn’t bring me any kind of self-affection or … I couldn’t stop thinking. How to get at a safer place? There wasn’t such a thing – not here, not there whatever it is.
And now my body changed into a an adult man, did it bring any malfunction to the Lighter’s calling? Was he ready for this change?
I took another train straight to Queensway station. Back to the Hyde Park. I had to meet the Lighter anyway , even if I myself would be found.
Put my hand in the jacket’s pocket looking for the ticket, and then I’ve found a piece of paper:
“Just in case you forget our conversation that we had.
And that some memories may be disconnected,
I have to tell you something and this may sound weird,
But you are the Lighter’ of the 7th Kingdom”.
Since when did Gath know this? Am I the Lighter?
Is not possible…
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